Interviewed by Project Voice.
Written by Freya Ho and Gabrielle Ong, Photos by Charlene Chin
Mr Thio Cher Kuan is one of our team member’s teacher in school. The first time we met him, he came into class with a bounce in his step and asked us, “So… I’ve been away for half a year. Anyone knows why I was on leave?”
Answers were thrown out- Your wife was on pregnancy leave. You went on a course. You were on a holiday!” Mr Thio chuckled. Slowly, someone raised up her hand. “Um… I heard that you had cancer……” The class turned quiet.
But Mr. Thio Cher Kuan is a man absolutely not like any other.
In October 2011, at age 36, Mr. Thio discovered a slight swelling in his neck that was neither itchy nor painful. However, being cautious, he decided to see a doctor. Blood tests showed nothing strange, so the doctor said that 1.5cm lump was simply a response to an infection and only required antibiotics.
A month later, Mr Thio decided to go for a full body check-up with another doctor as he had borderline high cholesterol. The doctor agreed with the initial diagnosis for the lump and even did another blood test and chest x-ray, which turned out inconclusive. Despite that, the doctor suggested that Mr Thio see an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat) specialist. This was a turning point which Mr Thio feels very lucky to have. “Without his suggestion, I think I may discover my cancer later”
He visited the ENT Specialist in December, expecting yet another inconclusive trip. He was completely stunned when the specialist informed him that it was a tumor at the back of his nose. A biopsy was needed for confirmation, but there was a 90% chance that the tumor was malignant and the lump in his neck meant that the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes.
“On my way back home, my thoughts were in turmoil as the news finally sunk in. I was totally unprepared for this! How could I get cancer at 36?? Why is it happening now when my baby girl was just born a month ago? Lots of questions and no one can provide me with answers. Only when I saw my wife, I broke down. I felt so sorry that I was going to put her through another difficult episode as her mother was lost to cancer in 2010. I was so afraid that I would not be able to be with my wife and I would not see my baby daughter grow up. I was also sorry that my parents, instead of enjoying their retirement and playing with my daughter, will have to look after me. My wife was sad initially but she was very supportive, said, “As a family, we’ll pull through together.”
“We decided we could see things negatively and be depressed, or be optimistic and see things positively. We chose to be positive. Looking on the bright side, I can be thankful for a lot of things: that it happened now when I’m 36, rather than older, so I’m younger fitter and stronger to fight it. I’m very very thankful for my wife, for always being there, always by my side, and a lot of friends and family showing concern”
Mr. Thio admits that the next 2 days were the most difficult period of his life, waiting to know the results of the PET scan which would determine the stage of cancer. The best case and worst case scenario played constantly in his head, along with conflicting thoughts of hope and fear. Stories of friends and family who had NPC yet are surviving kept Mr Thio positive and thinking, “If they are coping well, I can too.”
The day finally arrived. “To me, it was a critical moment. I was hoping for the best and planning for the worst. But honestly, I do not know how I would react if it turns out to be stage 4 cancer as deep down, I was still not mentally prepared for such news.” Luckily, he was diagnosed with Stage 2 Nasopharyngeal Carcinoma (NPC). Much to his relief, his 5 year survival rate was between 70%-80%. Appointments with oncologists were swiftly set for that very afternoon, for which Mr Thio is very amazed and thankful for.
To up his chances of survival, Mr Thio chose to undergo radiotherapy (using gamma rays to directly bombard the tumours and kill cancerous tissues) and chemotherapy (Cancer drugs that reduce the tumor size and make them more susceptible to radiation) concurrently. He would have 6-7 rounds of chemotherapy once a week and 33 sessions of radiotherapy from Monday-Friday totalling to a treatment period of 6 and half weeks, starting barely 13 days after his diagnosis.
His days became a routine: Wake up, go to the hospital for treatment, return home for lunch, nap, dinner, watch TV or surf the internet, sleep at 9.30pm. He slept an abundant number of hours, as though wanting the days to go by faster so that his treatment would end sooner. He also found ways to cope during the treatments, such as reading a book while on the 2.5 hour drip for chemotherapy, and even drifting off to the hypnotic hum of the radiotherapy machine as it revolved around his head! But the side effects from radiotherapy were where he was affected more.
He experienced tanned and very dry skin, a portion of his hair dropped off and his hair stopped growing due to chemotherapy. The most serious side effect was having his salivary glands destroyed due to radiotheraphy. As a result, he had a very dry mouth and had to drink every 3 hours (even waking up from his sleep). He was on a liquid diet for the last 2 weeks of treatment as it was hard to swallow. His tongue became extremely sensitive- he could not take any hot (high temperature) food, and minced meat felt like coarse sand abrading his already dry tongue.
“Eating was a laborious event as I struggled to get food down with it being absolutely tasteless and painful to swallow. At times I was quite tired and miserable due to the limited foods I could eat. But I said to myself, “It will pass, just endure it for these 6 months.” When the treatment ended, the first thing I wanted to recover is my sense of taste. So imagined my thrill when I can first taste a tinge of sour, saltiness, sweet or even bitter! I think there was a moment where my taste buds were confused. I was eating a banana and it tasted salty!” Another side effect he experienced occurred, strangely, after his treatment. There was accumulation of fluid in his ear so a hole had to be poked through his ear drum to drain the fluid, causing his ear to be temporarily hearing impaired.
In May 2012, Mr Thio went for a body checkup to se if the treatment was effective. “There was a scan and video scope, just like in the diagnosis appointment. Then the doctor said, “All clear for now.” It was absolutely amazing news. I had renewed hope.” His cancer is in remission but will have to continue to go for regular checkups for the next 5 years.
Looking back, Mr Thio is very grateful for the support he received from his friends and family that kept him going. “I had friends who showed concern, some even offered to pray for me. I really appreciated it…I was very touched. They were very supportive and shared with me stories of patients that survived and continued to live very well. I had this friend who also had NPC, multiple relapses over a period of 10 years and still continue to strive on for his family who shared advice and stories with me. These stories gave me hope and I really appreciate him for his stories and advice.”
Cancer is a good teacher, Mr Thio confesses. He knows now more than ever that life is short and unpredictable, that it must be cherished and made full use of. He has also learnt that no matter how tough a situation may be, there can be something positive, if you chooses to be positive. Cancer has also given him a new perspective: “Work and career advancement is not so important. Not that I don’t care about you guys (laughs). But what really matters is family and friends. After you pass away, people remember you for what you’ve done and the time that you have spent with them.”
Fully aware that not everyone who goes into a battle with cancer lives to tell the tale, he is grateful for the experience he has been given. He adds, “If things don’t go well, I will be fully prepared. If I have a cancer relapse again, I will fight on for but even if I were to go, I would have captured enough memories and I won’t have any regrets.”
What advice would you share with someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer?
- Life still goes on, no matter how long or short it is. Make the most use of it, spend it meaningfully.
- Look on the bright side. You can spend the day happy or just wallowing in misery. The cancer is still there, you are still living, so why not see things positively?
- Seek proper medical advice
- Be Hopeful but realistic
To caregivers of cancer patients, what advice would you share with them?
- Continue to support the patient
- Caregivers must take care of themselves (physically, emotionally and spiritually) in order to take care of the patient.
- It’s ok to take breaks
- Most importantly, see the experience as a journey together with the patient, not that you are carrying/caring for the patient all by yourself. So know when to seek other’s help, it’s perfectly ok.
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