Interviewed by the Project Voice Team.
Narrative written by Sophia Yew.
Today, as we interviewers sit in Ms Samantha Lee’s haphazard living room- it is not hard to tell what her greatest priority is. The sofa area is not built for adults, it is like a baby’s play area – full of cushions and toys. Despite cancer, Ms Samantha has come out victorious, with a baby to boot. Samantha says, “Cancer was really a horrible thing to happen to me, but not the worst. We need stories of hope , so we can tell people about them”. She added, “Why not me, because now I have a story to tell!” and pauses to say, “Without a test, there will be no testimony”
For Ms Samantha, a pain in her right thigh prompted an investigation. An area in her upper right thigh was tender upon touch and the pain grew so bad that she started limping. An MRI scan revealed there was a lump, the size of a golf ball inside her thigh, and it was feeding off the main blood vessel. Her surgeon explained that she needed surgery and that it would be a very risky operation in that a rupture of the main blood vessel could mean a significant loss of blood and potentially a loss of her leg/life. Having strong faith in God, Samantha had great peace and trusted that the Almighty God was in control of every situation in her life. She knew that He would not allow anything to happen to her life without His approval and grace to see her through. Samantha with her church’s support, prayed for God’s wisdom to be upon the surgeon and for God’s hand to be on all the assisting staff. The operation was a success.
After the operation and medical analysis of the tumor, her surgeon broke the news that it “wasn’t good”. The tumor was malignant and agressive. Upon hearing the results, her and her husband’s heart sank. Samantha cried as the nurses removed the surgical staples from her leg. She came out of the room to see Danny’s eyes red-rimmed.
The meeting continued with the surgeon who told her she had three options: to start a course of chemotherapy and radiation, complete ampulation of the right leg, or do nothing, hoping that the tumor was completely removed and that the canercous cells had not spread through her body. It was a difficult choice to make. Chemotherapy was the conventional and “best” option among the three, but it would also mean an extremely low chance or even zero possibility of conceiving a child afterwards. It was the threat of infertility that made Samantha stop and think about the proceeding with chemotherapy. Just married for 6 months, she and her husband wanted to start a family of their own and it was difficult to imagine not being able to have their own children.
There was one possible method that could potentially work. It was to remove her ovary(s) and freeze it, and in the future, engraft it back into her body, and hopefully conceive in that manner. But being a relatively new field of medicine that lacked evidence and results to prove the success of conception.
With that, Samantha descended into four cycles of chemotherapy. Each cycle of chemotherapy would be administered intravenously for four consecutive days, six hours daily. There would be two weeks of rest then the cycle repeats. This was to be done in conjunction with thirty-three sessions of radiation. An extremely aggressive treatment plan so as to wipe out any possible residual cancer cells, the side effects were numerous: infections, headaches, hair loss, ulcers, nausea, infertility and so on. Each chemotherapy session required a setting of the plug for the drug to be administered intravenously and her hands was pierced with the needle so many times that after a while there were no more ‘good’ veins left to use; a central line jsut below her collar bone had to be put in her. It was a very unpleasant experience as she feared needles and injections.
This was the point at which Samantha’s faith gave her hope and strength for the arduous journey she was about to embark on. She remembers sitting at her piano, singing and worshiping and telling God, “I’ll trust You Lord as long as You’ll take my hand and walk with me”. She felt the love and comfort of the Lord cloaking her like a warm blanket and knew that He was with her. She may not have understood why He would allow cancer to happen in her life but she knew that one day she would.
The chemotherapy was very hard to go through, and she would not have made it through without the support of her family. They took care of everything for her. Her auntie would drive her to and from chemotherapy so she never had to worry about taking the public transport and risk the possibly of getting an infection; as the chemotherapy resulted in low white blood counts and immunity to infections. Another auntie managed all her insurance matters and submitted all her claims. Another auntie bought an expensive double-geared fruit blender that made juice without losing any of the natural vitamins.
But she still loved and drank her mother’s fruit juice the most, made in a wonky old Philips blender. Samantha drank anything her mother lovingly made for her. Even some ‘yucky-looking’ greenish paste that made her want to laugh and puke at the same time. Her mother had insisted she drink it anyway. It turned out to be wonderful in helping to strengthen her immunity and in the recovery after each cycle of chemo. Throughout the entire chemotherapy, she did not succumb to any infections like coughs or colds which enabled the chemo sessions to be carried out smoothly and without delay.
It was a blessing in disguise that her father was unemployed during her time of sickness. He supported her emotionally by simply being there for her. He accompanied her for every chemotheraphy and radiation session, bought her her favourite 100 plus drink, held her up when she could not walk or felt nauseous. The silent knowledge that he was there reassured her. Her husband returned home after work every evening, showering her with affection and giving her the emotional support she needed.
As the third chemotherapy cycle hits, Sam has never been so tired and so weak. Not many understand how toxic the chemotheapy drug is and its side effects.
“I want it to end, honey,” Sam begins to cry as she leans on her husband’s shoulder.
“You’re doing well honey.. you’re almost at the end of the journey. It’s just one last cycle. God’s been with you through the past three cycles, He’s going to see you through to the end.”
“Why me?”
They sit there with their hearts in their hands, as they always have. Danny opens the word of God and reads her Psalm 91 and the peace of God which surpasseth all understanding filled her heart and mind.
When the feeling has blown over, Sam answers her own question.
“Why not me?”
In three words she encapsulated all the willpower to overcome the illness that she could muster. There is a greater reason, Sam believed, behind her illness. She knew that God had given her a story to tell. She could tell this story when she grew old, how she’s been to the grave and back, and become stronger for the likes of it. Cancer has strengthened her character as a person, reshaped her priorities in life to what truly matters, taught her to value each day as a gift from God and learn to appreciate pain as a blessing. Above all, she came out of the experience with a closer walk with God and a stronger love for her family.
The most beautiful little baby boy squirms in my lap. Bright eyes survey us, impatient with our vapid smiles.
Samantha’s mother coos at the baby. “You are a miracle baby, aren’t you, Jaden?”
It is impossible to see this baby as anything other than absolutely adorable when the women look so adoringly at him. Samantha says, “.”
Jaden smiles. It is not hard to tell who is the testimony to his mother's strength.
For Ms Samantha, a pain in her right thigh prompted an investigation. An area in her upper right thigh was tender upon touch and the pain grew so bad that she started limping. An MRI scan revealed there was a lump, the size of a golf ball inside her thigh, and it was feeding off the main blood vessel. Her surgeon explained that she needed surgery and that it would be a very risky operation in that a rupture of the main blood vessel could mean a significant loss of blood and potentially a loss of her leg/life. Having strong faith in God, Samantha had great peace and trusted that the Almighty God was in control of every situation in her life. She knew that He would not allow anything to happen to her life without His approval and grace to see her through. Samantha with her church’s support, prayed for God’s wisdom to be upon the surgeon and for God’s hand to be on all the assisting staff. The operation was a success.
After the operation and medical analysis of the tumor, her surgeon broke the news that it “wasn’t good”. The tumor was malignant and agressive. Upon hearing the results, her and her husband’s heart sank. Samantha cried as the nurses removed the surgical staples from her leg. She came out of the room to see Danny’s eyes red-rimmed.
The meeting continued with the surgeon who told her she had three options: to start a course of chemotherapy and radiation, complete ampulation of the right leg, or do nothing, hoping that the tumor was completely removed and that the canercous cells had not spread through her body. It was a difficult choice to make. Chemotherapy was the conventional and “best” option among the three, but it would also mean an extremely low chance or even zero possibility of conceiving a child afterwards. It was the threat of infertility that made Samantha stop and think about the proceeding with chemotherapy. Just married for 6 months, she and her husband wanted to start a family of their own and it was difficult to imagine not being able to have their own children.
There was one possible method that could potentially work. It was to remove her ovary(s) and freeze it, and in the future, engraft it back into her body, and hopefully conceive in that manner. But being a relatively new field of medicine that lacked evidence and results to prove the success of conception.
With that, Samantha descended into four cycles of chemotherapy. Each cycle of chemotherapy would be administered intravenously for four consecutive days, six hours daily. There would be two weeks of rest then the cycle repeats. This was to be done in conjunction with thirty-three sessions of radiation. An extremely aggressive treatment plan so as to wipe out any possible residual cancer cells, the side effects were numerous: infections, headaches, hair loss, ulcers, nausea, infertility and so on. Each chemotherapy session required a setting of the plug for the drug to be administered intravenously and her hands was pierced with the needle so many times that after a while there were no more ‘good’ veins left to use; a central line jsut below her collar bone had to be put in her. It was a very unpleasant experience as she feared needles and injections.
This was the point at which Samantha’s faith gave her hope and strength for the arduous journey she was about to embark on. She remembers sitting at her piano, singing and worshiping and telling God, “I’ll trust You Lord as long as You’ll take my hand and walk with me”. She felt the love and comfort of the Lord cloaking her like a warm blanket and knew that He was with her. She may not have understood why He would allow cancer to happen in her life but she knew that one day she would.
The chemotherapy was very hard to go through, and she would not have made it through without the support of her family. They took care of everything for her. Her auntie would drive her to and from chemotherapy so she never had to worry about taking the public transport and risk the possibly of getting an infection; as the chemotherapy resulted in low white blood counts and immunity to infections. Another auntie managed all her insurance matters and submitted all her claims. Another auntie bought an expensive double-geared fruit blender that made juice without losing any of the natural vitamins.
But she still loved and drank her mother’s fruit juice the most, made in a wonky old Philips blender. Samantha drank anything her mother lovingly made for her. Even some ‘yucky-looking’ greenish paste that made her want to laugh and puke at the same time. Her mother had insisted she drink it anyway. It turned out to be wonderful in helping to strengthen her immunity and in the recovery after each cycle of chemo. Throughout the entire chemotherapy, she did not succumb to any infections like coughs or colds which enabled the chemo sessions to be carried out smoothly and without delay.
It was a blessing in disguise that her father was unemployed during her time of sickness. He supported her emotionally by simply being there for her. He accompanied her for every chemotheraphy and radiation session, bought her her favourite 100 plus drink, held her up when she could not walk or felt nauseous. The silent knowledge that he was there reassured her. Her husband returned home after work every evening, showering her with affection and giving her the emotional support she needed.
As the third chemotherapy cycle hits, Sam has never been so tired and so weak. Not many understand how toxic the chemotheapy drug is and its side effects.
“I want it to end, honey,” Sam begins to cry as she leans on her husband’s shoulder.
“You’re doing well honey.. you’re almost at the end of the journey. It’s just one last cycle. God’s been with you through the past three cycles, He’s going to see you through to the end.”
“Why me?”
They sit there with their hearts in their hands, as they always have. Danny opens the word of God and reads her Psalm 91 and the peace of God which surpasseth all understanding filled her heart and mind.
When the feeling has blown over, Sam answers her own question.
“Why not me?”
In three words she encapsulated all the willpower to overcome the illness that she could muster. There is a greater reason, Sam believed, behind her illness. She knew that God had given her a story to tell. She could tell this story when she grew old, how she’s been to the grave and back, and become stronger for the likes of it. Cancer has strengthened her character as a person, reshaped her priorities in life to what truly matters, taught her to value each day as a gift from God and learn to appreciate pain as a blessing. Above all, she came out of the experience with a closer walk with God and a stronger love for her family.
The most beautiful little baby boy squirms in my lap. Bright eyes survey us, impatient with our vapid smiles.
Samantha’s mother coos at the baby. “You are a miracle baby, aren’t you, Jaden?”
It is impossible to see this baby as anything other than absolutely adorable when the women look so adoringly at him. Samantha says, “.”
Jaden smiles. It is not hard to tell who is the testimony to his mother's strength.
Let's hear more from Samantha:
How has cancer changed you as a person? What are some lessons you learnt?
Having cancer was a really painful experience, I don’t hope to relive it, but I don’t regret it. I really don’t regret it, because it really has shaped me. I know it sounds cliché but it really has made me a different person. I mean, back then I think I was young, ready to get married and do great things for God. Yes, there is still that part of me now, I still want a lot of pretty things and still want to go shopping. But one thing I’ve really learnt out of it all was just to be content, and really being able to say that you know what? God, it doesn’t matter if I don’t have a big house, it doesn’t matter if I don’t have a car. I just know that if I have health…Wow! I’ve never really understood as a young person what it’s like to be sick, and to be so sick.
What I really treasured out of this all, and why I don’t regret this is because I don’t regret the times that me and my dad spent together, and I’ve always longed for that. I’ve always talked to my mum because we were both girls, but dad was dad – the traditional, fatherly figure who was not very good at expressing love the way I desired for him to. And so, I really treasured those moments when he would accompany me to the hospital and care for me by buying me food, drinks and anything else I craved for during the treatment days. Sometimes bad things happen but out of it comes such beautiful memories and though I don’t hope to go through cancer again, I don’t regret going through it.
What advice would you share with someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer?
Find support:
Whether it was family support or the support from my church family, I was so, so thankful for that. They gave me the emotional and spiritual strength throughout the entire 4 cycles of chemo. If your family is not there for you, find a support group. Find someone to help you. At NCC (National Cancer Centre) they have those counselors and support groups that can come and encourage you. I think it’s very, very important.
Drink fruit juices:
Oh my mum was great. She would always make me fruit juices. She would make celery juice, apple juice, carrot juice and all that kind of stuff. They were great for the mouth ulcers as they speeded up the recovery process.
Insurance:
It’s very, very helpful to have insurance. When I was still a civil servant, my aunt told me “Sam, you really need to buy this health shield. It’s a really good package”. So I signed it with the AIA, and that health shield covered me entirely for my chemo and radiation. Insurance is really very helpful so it’ll be wise to get it.
What advice would you share with a caregiver of a cancer patient?
When somebody is in a lot of pain, they may act irrationally, and they get easily frustrated, they get irritable. And it’s understandable because nobody likes to be in pain, especially when they’re going through tough times and are feeling lousy. They may tend to be a little more sensitive and curt with their answers. So as a caregiver, you need to be very patient and understanding. Do not take things personally when the person snaps at them or have mood swings.
The job of a caregiver can get really draining, so they also need support from other people. Whether it’s from other family members taking turns to help the sick family members, support from their relatives or a healthcare organization, I would say it’s really helpful.
Having cancer was a really painful experience, I don’t hope to relive it, but I don’t regret it. I really don’t regret it, because it really has shaped me. I know it sounds cliché but it really has made me a different person. I mean, back then I think I was young, ready to get married and do great things for God. Yes, there is still that part of me now, I still want a lot of pretty things and still want to go shopping. But one thing I’ve really learnt out of it all was just to be content, and really being able to say that you know what? God, it doesn’t matter if I don’t have a big house, it doesn’t matter if I don’t have a car. I just know that if I have health…Wow! I’ve never really understood as a young person what it’s like to be sick, and to be so sick.
What I really treasured out of this all, and why I don’t regret this is because I don’t regret the times that me and my dad spent together, and I’ve always longed for that. I’ve always talked to my mum because we were both girls, but dad was dad – the traditional, fatherly figure who was not very good at expressing love the way I desired for him to. And so, I really treasured those moments when he would accompany me to the hospital and care for me by buying me food, drinks and anything else I craved for during the treatment days. Sometimes bad things happen but out of it comes such beautiful memories and though I don’t hope to go through cancer again, I don’t regret going through it.
What advice would you share with someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer?
Find support:
Whether it was family support or the support from my church family, I was so, so thankful for that. They gave me the emotional and spiritual strength throughout the entire 4 cycles of chemo. If your family is not there for you, find a support group. Find someone to help you. At NCC (National Cancer Centre) they have those counselors and support groups that can come and encourage you. I think it’s very, very important.
Drink fruit juices:
Oh my mum was great. She would always make me fruit juices. She would make celery juice, apple juice, carrot juice and all that kind of stuff. They were great for the mouth ulcers as they speeded up the recovery process.
Insurance:
It’s very, very helpful to have insurance. When I was still a civil servant, my aunt told me “Sam, you really need to buy this health shield. It’s a really good package”. So I signed it with the AIA, and that health shield covered me entirely for my chemo and radiation. Insurance is really very helpful so it’ll be wise to get it.
What advice would you share with a caregiver of a cancer patient?
When somebody is in a lot of pain, they may act irrationally, and they get easily frustrated, they get irritable. And it’s understandable because nobody likes to be in pain, especially when they’re going through tough times and are feeling lousy. They may tend to be a little more sensitive and curt with their answers. So as a caregiver, you need to be very patient and understanding. Do not take things personally when the person snaps at them or have mood swings.
The job of a caregiver can get really draining, so they also need support from other people. Whether it’s from other family members taking turns to help the sick family members, support from their relatives or a healthcare organization, I would say it’s really helpful.
What was the most amazing thing that happened?
Jaden (Samantha’s 8 months old son, born on February 4th 2012) really is a miracle baby. One of the symptoms of the chemo was that my menses stopped by the 3rd cycle. It came back on September 1st, on Teachers’ Day. I was crying and thanking God. I was struggling with menopause before that, with hot flushes on and off. My husband took me for a short celebration trip to the Margret River at the end of the treatment. It was winter there but I was hot then cold then hot then cold. It was so frustrating. So when my menses came back on 1st September, I was overjoyed because not only was that the end of my “menopause” but also because I knew that it meant the possibility to having children. The dates are just so amazing. I will always remember them. I conceived exactly 1 year after my chemo ended on April 29th. I was thinking: wow God, you have a sense of humor and such divine timing. It’s so amazing because I know that truly God was in control all along and assured me that He was with me. Being blessed with Jaden (gift of God) is the best testimony that has come out of my brush with cancer. As I write this story today, Danny and I have just found out that we are having another baby! What the doctors said was “almost 99% impossible, with God ALL things are possible.”
Cancer has tried to rob me of my joy, my peace, my future but it could not because I serve a God who has defeated cancer and given me life and life more abundantly in Him.
Jaden (Samantha’s 8 months old son, born on February 4th 2012) really is a miracle baby. One of the symptoms of the chemo was that my menses stopped by the 3rd cycle. It came back on September 1st, on Teachers’ Day. I was crying and thanking God. I was struggling with menopause before that, with hot flushes on and off. My husband took me for a short celebration trip to the Margret River at the end of the treatment. It was winter there but I was hot then cold then hot then cold. It was so frustrating. So when my menses came back on 1st September, I was overjoyed because not only was that the end of my “menopause” but also because I knew that it meant the possibility to having children. The dates are just so amazing. I will always remember them. I conceived exactly 1 year after my chemo ended on April 29th. I was thinking: wow God, you have a sense of humor and such divine timing. It’s so amazing because I know that truly God was in control all along and assured me that He was with me. Being blessed with Jaden (gift of God) is the best testimony that has come out of my brush with cancer. As I write this story today, Danny and I have just found out that we are having another baby! What the doctors said was “almost 99% impossible, with God ALL things are possible.”
Cancer has tried to rob me of my joy, my peace, my future but it could not because I serve a God who has defeated cancer and given me life and life more abundantly in Him.
Do leave us and Samantha a comment below!